A Nagging Feeling

Lately, I've been having this nagging feeling that something is about to happen. Not knowing whether it will be something I'll like, but likely something that will stretch me out of what I'm comfortable with...AGAIN. I'm actually here writing because of that feeling-the feeling that I need to do something.

I've recently found myself in a place where God has drawn me close, whispered profound sentiments, and then caused me to wrestle with His truth and His grace. I heard a wise man recently say, "Grace is power released through humility." I never thought of grace as something that was difficult to accept; on the contrary, I have always desired to walk in God's grace...much better than judgement, as far as I'm concerned. In order to receive this precious grace, I've been on a journey of relinquishing my control and pride in a truly humbling experience.

So often, I set lofty expectations for myself, that no one can humanly fulfill, and am completely let down when I don't achieve my goals. In a sweet moment, God reminded me that he expects nothing from me, except to love him. I have always wanted more- from life, from God, from my relationships- and I am slowly realizing that if I want a rich life, I have to lay down all of my expectations and receive grace. I know full well that I am not all that I was intended to be, but I am willing to make myself nothing that I might receive the grace I so desperately need.

In this season of laying aside everything that I know and am so comfortable with, I am daily finding my security in the arms of the One who asked for it all. If something radical is going to happen, a great leap has to take place. My great leap in this journey is opening myself up for all too see my blaring inadequacies, and allow Christ to be all that I am not. I know that the desires I am laying down for a season won't be left empty and unfulfilled. Faith simply requires that those things be laid down, so that God can do His work in this season. Relinquishing control is not simple for me, though! This is my daily struggle-to trust that the Creator of everything thinks enough of the dreams in my heart to fulfill them in His season. I have come to realize that great dissatisfaction comes from dreams unfulfilled. Walking in grace daily, I'm laying aside dissatisfaction, so I can be free to let God do what he wants for my life.

Throughout this journey, I'm going to be faithful to do the last thing God told me to do...write it all down and share it with whoever wants to read it. So, this is my story...follow it as I journey through grace.