I have a little catching up to do, as I’ve had a lot
happening over the last couple of months.
So, I got a gift card for my favorite store from a friend for my
birthday a few months back.
I was so excited to go shopping, and I finally got the chance to go one
day. I was trying to be a savvy
shopper and get the most I could for my gift card, but still get things that
would add to our home. This isn’t
something I’m able to do very often, so it really lifted my spirits to think about
getting something to brighten the house.
After way too much deliberation, I finally decided on a painting and a
metal sculpture of a tree, and I brought them home, so excited to share them
with my hubby. I told him about
the awesome deal I got and showed him my finds. I told him I didn’t really know why I chose everything in
trees, but I thought they really added something to the house. He reminded me of a verse that we’ve
been hovering around lately in our family, Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes
the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of
life.” I hope that we are moving
to the “tree of life” part of that verse.
At least in my heart, I’m looking to a season of things moving in a more
positive direction, even if it is only in my perspective.
I think my perspective shift started a couple of months ago
when a dear friend gave me a copy of One
Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.
She said it was a hard read, but a life changer if you let it. It’s been a slow read, and I can
honestly say I’m still reading, but its truth has permeated my spirit, and
changed the way I live. The basic premise of the book is, in
order for us to be fully alive and experience true joy, we have to start in the
same place that Christ always began: thanksgiving. There is beauty in the everyday, if we will just look for it
with hearts of gratitude. I have
begun a journey of searching out those gifts that God puts in my path that I so
commonly overlook. I’m seeking to
live with my hands open to receive and to give those precious things that are
so often taken for granted. I have
found by looking up and seeking out the thankfulnesses that surround me, my
entire perspective has changed.
Even more than that, when trials come, I am seeking hard in those things
to find the beauty that God has hidden in it for me to find. If I go through trial by fire, and find
the gratitude in my heart to thank the One who is bringing me through it, my
eyes are no longer looking at the circumstances, and I begin to find joy though
the pain.
One of the biggest things that has resonated in me with this
book is “Thanksgiving always precedes the
miracle.” Without giving too
much away, she discusses how, before Jesus worked a miracle while on earth, he
always gave thanks to the Father, and thus a miracle ensued. I am believing for miracles in my life
right now, for that “longing fulfilled” that Proverbs speaks of, and instead of
focusing on my want or lack, I’m choosing to focus on all the incredible gifts
I’ve already been given. Even though
the current path is a huge variance from what I had hoped, I am thankful that
grace abounds, even in this season.
That doesn’t mean that everything is perfect…as we near the
time to try again for our hearts’ desire, I constantly battle my mind, my fear,
my own doubt. I have to almost
convince myself to want to try again,
as fear and doubt have squelched the desire that was so prevalent a year
ago. And in this moment, like so
many just like it, I begin to count gifts. I make lists – I tweet them, Facebook them, write them on
sticky notes and stick them to the red wall around the metal sculpture of the
tree I bought. When I doubt His
goodness, I look at all of the gifts in my life, and I am reminded of His
faithfulness, and, yes: His
grace. Even if things don’t go the
way I want the next time, does that mean that His grace has left me? Absolutely not! It means I have to look hard and search
for it, but He has by no means left me, or forgotten me, or been caught by
surprise. I refuse to let the enemy
take the full life that is rightfully my inheritance.
The challenge for me, and all of us, is to live with eyes to
seek out the gifts in what appears to be a mess, and know that our God is in
the business of making something beautiful out of it. Everyday, He is doing the extraordinary if we will just see
it. Pick up the lenses of grace
with me, and see what God is doing in your life and in mine. Count the gifts he is giving and live
fully!
