Worry and Purses

So, my purse strap broke last night. I love this purse. It’s not old. But I have this problem of carrying a million things in my purse all the time. It weighs me down. It probably compounds the issues I already have with my shoulder. My whole life is in there. I carry things for my husband and kids constantly. I can never find what I need because there is so much junk in there. People who know me well, know if you need something, I’ll have it in my purse most of the time. If you’re a mom, you know my struggle. I don’t even know how half of the stuff in there even got there.

There was a moment last night that God showed me such a simple thing-an inconvenience really-can have Devine implications. For especially women, we have large hearts of compassion. We want to help people. We are nurturers, caretakers. It’s part of our calling, and it’s one way that God’s DNA is reflected through us. We display a facet of our Creator through our caring, nurturing predisposition.

God reminded me last night that the problem arises when the enemy lies to us and gets us to believe that we aren’t doing enough. He leads us into erroneous thinking that somehow we need to take on burdens that aren’t ours to bear to begin with. Just like my purse, we go through life picking up other people’s stuff and putting it in our “purse”, taking it upon ourselves, under the guise that we will “just pray for them” or “it’s the least we can do”. All the while, the enemy is filling our bag with hurts that aren’t ours, offense for ourselves and others, anger over another’s injustice, and slowly, he steals-our joy, our song, our life- from us. As the too full purse weighs me down and makes my shoulder hurt,making it difficult for me to do what I’m created to do, carrying heavy burdens takes our focus off of the most important things we are each uniquely called to do.

Do we still care for people? Of course. But we have to define healthy boundaries, especially where taking up offense and hurt are concerned. It’s our job to point loved ones in the direction of true Freedom, not try to be their savior. It’s our pride that places us here. The enemy appeals to our Wonder Woman complex that says we can do it all, but ultimately, we are finite beings who serve an infinite God. Our true strength comes when the proverbial purse strap breaks, and we leave the whole bag at the feet of Jesus-the One who came to bear all of our burdens-knowing full well that He can handle our load as well as the ones of eight billion other precious souls. 

In I Peter 5:7, it says “Cast your cares on him, because He cares for you.” The original language for the word “cast” there is the word ephirhippto, which means to “throw away like trash.” I think the thing that really struck me is that Christ wants us to disregard those things that are weighing down. If I throw something away, it’s because it no longer has a viable use in my life. On trash day, you don’t see many people running out to the curb to grab last week’s pizza box so they can carry it around with them all day. But I know I’m not the only one who does this: you prayerfully place something in the arms of Jesus, trusting him to take care of it, only to find yourself worrying about it later. As we worry, we have gone back to the Savior and ripped the situation out of His hands. Worry is believing that God’s Love ends. By worrying about and striving with our problems, we are telling our Lord that we don’t believe He can handle it—that, perhaps, His Love isn’t big enough to reach us in our situation. And there is NOTHING more contrary to the truth!

So, if you’ve stayed with me on my purse story this long, the most important tenet I believe I’m supposed to leave you with is the following: “That’s not my burden.” When you’re tempted to take up that which isn’t yours, speak truth to that lie. Remind yourself, as well as the enemy of your soul, that you aren’t the burden bearer, and it’s not your call to fix everybody. I have to say it to myself all the time, “This is not my burden.” It’s your job to be the light to help them find their way back to the path for those who may have gotten lost. 

Jesus promises us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. So, if you’re feeling like it’s just too much to bear lately, it might just be time for you to lighten your load and let Him carry your broken purse for awhile.

So, my purse strap broke last night. I love this purse. It’s not old. But I have this problem of carrying a million things in my purse all the time. It weighs me down. It probably compounds the issues I already have with my shoulder. My whole life is in there. I carry things for my husband and kids constantly. I can never find what I need because there is so much junk in there. People who know me well, know if you need something, I’ll have it in my purse most of the time. If you’re a mom, you know my struggle. I don’t even know how half of the stuff in there even got there.

There was a moment last night that God showed me such a simple thing-an inconvenience really-can have Devine implications. For especially women, we have large hearts of compassion. We want to help people. We are nurturers, caretakers. It’s part of our calling, and it’s one way that God’s DNA is reflected through us. We display a facet of our Creator through our caring, nurturing predisposition.

God reminded me last night that the problem arises when the enemy lies to us and gets us to believe that we aren’t doing enough. He leads us into erroneous thinking that somehow we need to take on burdens that aren’t ours to bear to begin with. Just like my purse, we go through life picking up other people’s stuff and putting it in our “purse”, taking it upon ourselves, under the guise that we will “just pray for them” or “it’s the least we can do”. All the while, the enemy is filling our bag with hurts that aren’t ours, offense for ourselves and others, anger over another’s injustice, and slowly, he steals-our joy, our song, our life- from us. As the too full purse weighs me down and makes my shoulder hurt,making it difficult for me to do what I’m created to do, carrying heavy burdens takes our focus off of the most important things we are each uniquely called to do.

Do we still care for people? Of course. But we have to define healthy boundaries, especially where taking up offense and hurt are concerned. It’s our job to point loved ones in the direction of true Freedom, not try to be their savior. It’s our pride that places us here. The enemy appeals to our Wonder Woman complex that says we can do it all, but ultimately, we are finite beings who serve an infinite God. Our true strength comes when the proverbial purse strap breaks, and we leave the whole bag at the feet of Jesus-the One who came to bear all of our burdens-knowing full well that He can handle our load as well as the ones of eight billion other precious souls. 

In I Peter 5:7, it says “Cast your cares on him, because He cares for you.” The original language for the word “cast” there is the word ephirhippto, which means to “throw away like trash.” I think the thing that really struck me is that Christ wants us to disregard those things that are weighing down. If I throw something away, it’s because it no longer has a viable use in my life. On trash day, you don’t see many people running out to the curb to grab last week’s pizza box so they can carry it around with them all day. But I know I’m not the only one who does this: you prayerfully place something in the arms of Jesus, trusting him to take care of it, only to find yourself worrying about it later. As we worry, we have gone back to the Savior and ripped the situation out of His hands. Worry is believing that God’s Love ends. By worrying about and striving with our problems, we are telling our Lord that we don’t believe He can handle it—that, perhaps, His Love isn’t big enough to reach us in our situation. And there is NOTHING more contrary to the truth!

So, if you’ve stayed with me on my purse story this long, the most important tenet I believe I’m supposed to leave you with is the following: “That’s not my burden.” When you’re tempted to take up that which isn’t yours, speak truth to that lie. Remind yourself, as well as the enemy of your soul, that you aren’t the burden bearer, and it’s not your call to fix everybody. I have to say it to myself all the time, “This is not my burden.” It’s your job to be the light to help them find their way back to the path for those who may have gotten lost. 

Jesus promises us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. So, if you’re feeling like it’s just too much to bear lately, it might just be time for you to lighten your load and let Him carry your broken purse for awhile.

x

A Longing Fulfilled

Today is one month post surgery, and so much has changed in four short weeks.  Patrick has seen an astounding weight loss of 46.6 pounds since surgery day, and 72.6 pounds total since making diet changes at the beginning of April.  Incredible!  I’m so proud of him. 

Now that we have reached four weeks, he has introduced more “normal” foods.  Everything still has to be really soft and super well chewed, but he’s found quite a few things he can eat and enjoy.  We went to lunch together this week while we were out running errands.  We got a single soup and half sandwich combo and shared it.  I had half a sandwich, and he had five bites of soup and was done.  He’s such a cheap date now! 

I was chatting with friends this week about some things I’ve noticed.  He called me while I was talking with them, and I noticed there is something different in his voice-a tenderness that I haven’t heard in awhile.  I mentioned it to them, wondering what the change might be.  It has been a consistent change since the surgery, so it seems to be hanging around-believe me-I love it!  My friend wondered if maybe, it might be hope, and I think she might have it.  Perhaps, in his own way, he had lost hope that anything would ever change, just as I had.  Maybe the change isn’t just in him…perhaps it’s in me too.  I know my hope has been renewed of late.  In my heart, I always trusted my good, good Father to take care of us, but as time wore on and nothing changed, I definitely got discouraged.  In the wondering, I’m brought to Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”  It’s not just that his voice has changed, it’s his heart as well.  I had never thought about it possibly not being just me that was constantly frustrated and disappointed, which caused me to withdraw and become defensive.  Maybe he wasn’t content with living the way we always had-experiencing life from a spectator’s seat, watching everything happen around him-I wonder if, perhaps, that deferred hope in his own heart pushed my love to make the change, and once he took the first step to be transformed for good, God honored His word-honored the obedient heart- and planted the seed in the fertile soil of change, that has taken root to produce a tree of life heart-work-a tree watered by the Living Water, which is all the water and food our soul will ever need. 

Oh, this makes me excited.  I see it now!  God, in His infinite grace, takes opportunity with our hearts, when we come to humbly trust, like children-blindly, completely-to plant the seed of hope in the soft ground of humility.  It takes root quickly, no longer choked out by our pride, and grows the Tree of Life within our hearts.  Stepping out in blind faith, for me, made me utterly helpless-broke up the stony ground that I’d allowed life to create in me.  Reacting instead of responding in love had slowly choked out the Life in me, had made me cynical, angry, intolerant, no longer bearing Good Fruit.  But the helplessness, the blind trust of true, childlike faith, had broken through years of bitter and angry to yield a soft heart to receive the Love that had always been there for me.  I didn’t have to earn it.  I didn’t have to be all things to all people.  I had to just trust the One who deposits the seed into the fertile soil of soft hearts, and let Him do the caring for a care-worn child.  This surgery may have saved Patrick’s life, but I’m sure, as I sit here this morning, that it saved mine too.  His radical decision brought us both to helpless dependence on God, eradicated our pride, and allowed Life to begin to grow afresh in our hearts.  There is a new tenderness, for both of us, brought about by the Great Tree springing up within each of our hearts.  Love endures all things.  It produces a good work when we get out of our own way and allow Love to bring to completion that which was begun in us.

I look forward to Love’s fruit in our lives-that we can share it with many, multiply the seeds, and see them planted in willing hearts.